The Questions We Ask

Who are you to have a website? My darling brain asks. What purpose does it even serve? No one cares what you have to say.

I hear it rambling - doing its job generating unhelpful noise to distract me from showing up, doing my work and playing my part in the world.

I acknowledge it's familiar voice, smile and continue.

Supposedly there are no dumb questions but there certainly are unhelpful ones. My mind seems to know these all by heart. Although, I honestly can't say that I know exactly what purpose this website will serve; I do know that putting my energy towards telling my story is far more productive than placing that same amount of effort to numb my desire to speak out. 

Plus, telling my story and the stories of the countless brilliant women that I have come in contact with on this journey only increases the possibility of something useful reaching someone that needs it at the right time. Maybe a tidbit from a success story will ignite a glimmer of hope within a struggling soul potentially releasing them from the perpetuating nightmare of self-created suffering and unnecessary pain. Who knows?

The questions that we ask ourselves hold so much power.

While some of us are aware of this concept we get lazy so we just keep playing those same old, repetitive tapes with annoying, overplayed hits. My mind's favorites are classics like "Why are My Thighs so Big?", "Why is my Life Such a Mess?", "What Did I Do Wrong Now?", "What Will Everyone Think about Me?" and who could forget the gem "Why Would Anyone Care What I Have to Say?".

Our brains are magical little machines that want to serve us by answering the questions that we habitually ask. It doesn't differentiate between helpful or unhelpful thoughts - it just thinks. In addition to thinking it will actually begin to create a lens through which we perceive a reality that only further proves our self-limiting beliefs correct. 

Overtime what we've created is a super-efficient monster living inside our head. We keep it alive by allowing it to do whatever it wants. We feed it fearful questions which it dutifully responds to with worst case scenario answers. It places dark tinted glasses over our eyes to block out anything in reality that would contradict our skewed world view. This obviously creates overwhelming amounts of anxiety and an overall pretty shitty life.

Our soul on the other hand has goals and dreams of its own. By the nature of its design it is meant to bloom, to shine and to shower the world with love. It sees right through the the mind's dark, smudged glasses into the truth that is a world full of light. Like a flower, its only function is to reach for the sun. Our soul sees through this illusion of fear into the pure essence of love that vibrates through everything. As you can imagine, these are two quite contradictory roommates living inside of just one human being and depending on the severity of the disparity it is often quite the civil war.

My mind's b.s. was pretty apparent by the results I was getting in my life but it wasn't until I consistently practiced increasing my awareness through meditation and yoga that I was able to get good look at these patterns. Rather then continuously treating the symptoms in my life from my brain's unhelpful thinking I went to directly to the source of the problem to stop these thought ripples from further intruding upon my life.

Although this is easier said then done, I have been able to create a more peaceful space for my spirit to thrive within by assigning my mind tasks to keep it busy in a more helpful way. I don't scold it for going back to those old 8-Track tapes from the 80's, it doesn't know any better, I just politely turn down the volume and pop my new and improved high-def thought track into my mental sound dock 5000 and upgrade my life.

Here are some of questions I use to derail negative thinking spirals. They have been extremely helpful in the quest to lasso my mind:

  • What can I do today to be an even better version of myself?
  • What are the five things I am most grateful for right now?
  • Where do I see beauty in my immediate environment?
  • What attributes of my character do I like best?
  • What do I taste, hear, feel, see and smell?
  • What are the five things that I value most in life?
  • What do I like about this person, situation, job, ect?
  • Why am I so f*cking awesome?

Seriously though! The next time you catch your mind doing it's same old mind thing - prompt yourself with an upgraded question, one that will throw it for a loop. While it's reeling, trying to figure out what to come up with, you can get back to letting your soul do the work it's been waiting to do - like writing a freaking blog post.

With Love and Excitement,

Carissa